During this time of trial and error, parents need to offer open, positive communication while providing clear and fair rules and consistent guidance. You significantly influence your adolescent's habits and attitudes, choices, and adjustments to physical changes. However, realize that your child's way of doing things does not have to exactly match your own.

Help your child identify important issues and be prepared for increasing responsibilities. Allow your child the freedom to figure things out in his or her own way within the boundaries you have set. Parents walk a fine line between respecting a teen's need for independence and privacy and making sure that he or she does not make mistakes that have lifelong consequences.

Promote your adolescent's physical development by doing the following:

• Help your adolescent build healthy eating habits. Support your teen in making healthy choices by talking about what things make it easier or harder to eat well. For more information on eating well and managing weight, see the topic Healthy Weight.
• Promote a healthy body image. Help your adolescent recognize that the media often produce unrealistic and unattainable images of the ideal body. Stress the importance of being healthy, rather than being "skinny" or "buff." Be aware of the things you say about how you and other people look.
• Recognize changing sleep patterns. Rapidly growing and busy adolescents need a lot of sleep. Beginning sometime in adolescence, your child's natural sleeping pattern may gradually shift. Many adolescents start going to bed later at night and sleeping in. This pattern can make it hard to get up for school. Help your adolescent get enough rest, such as by discouraging talking on the phone or using the computer after a certain evening hour.
• Help your teen who is using drugs or alcohol. If you believe your adolescent is using drugs or alcohol, it is important to talk about it. Discuss how he or she gets the alcohol, tobacco, or drugs and in what kind of setting they are used. Seek advice from a health professional if the behavior continues.

For more information on tobacco, drugs, or alcohol problems, see the topic Teen Alcohol and Drug Abuse.

Promote your adolescent's healthy emotional and social development by doing the following:

• Address problems and concerns. Building trust gradually will help your adolescent feel safe in talking with you about sensitive subjects. When attempting to talk with your adolescent about problems or concerns, schedule a "date" in a private and quiet place. Be ready to deflect questions you aren't prepared to answer and make sure to follow through. For example, you may say, "You know, this is so important that I need a little time to think about it. Can we discuss it later?" Then set a specific time and place to further discuss the issue.
• Prevent involvement in violence. Be a good role model for how to handle disagreements, such as by talking calmly. Help your teen come up with ways to defuse potentially violent situations, such as making a joke or acknowledging another person's point of view. Praise them for successfully avoiding a confrontation, such as by saying, "I'm proud of you for staying calm." For more information on teen violence, see the topic Violent Behavior or Bullying.
• Reduce suicide risk and recognize the warning signs. Prepare your child for the emotional upheavals that sometimes occur between the ages of 11 and 14 years. Offer suggestions on how to handle feelings of inadequacy or sadness, such as keeping a journal, volunteering, and getting adequate rest and exercise. If your adolescent shows signs of depression, such as withdrawing from others and being sad much of the time, talk about it and get help from a health professional if it does not improve. Also call your health professional if your adolescent or teen ever mentions suicide or if you are concerned for his or her safety.